How Many Chances

  How Many Chances

  By

  Beverley Hollowed

  No Second Chances

  Beverley Hollowed

  Copyright © 2013 Beverley Hollowed

  First published 2013

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  For permission requests, write to the author, addressed “Request: Copyright Approval” info@titaninkorp.com

  URL: https://www.facebook.com/Beverelyhollowed2012Author

  Edited and published by: Titan InKorp…… http://titaninkorp.com/

  Dedicated to Brian…..

  Loveyou always xxx

  I would like to start as always by thanking my best friend, my partner in crime and the love of my life, Brian. Thank you for your patience, your support and your unconditional love. Your belief in me means the world to me and helps me keep going even on days I just felt like I had no more to give. I love you. xx

  Thank you to my two beautiful boys Aaron and Anthony. I love you all the way around the world and back. xx

  To Sam, thank you for the endless nights of read throughs and for kicking my sorry ass over the finishing line when I needed it the most. I love you my woman. xx

  To Beverly, my other mom, thanks for always being there and for never letting me stop believing. And for making me love autocorrect so much… love you xx

  To Sally, thank you for all your help and fed back, and especially for doing a first edit and making sense of my crazy writing. You are truly an angel. xx

  To my Angels, new and old. Thank you all for your support, friendship and words of wisdom. You are all shining stars that light up my life…. Keep shining xx

  To my Publishers Titan InKorp and especially our fearless leader and my good friend Chris Austin. As always, thank you for continuing to make my journey a happy, easy and enjoyable one. Thank you for all your hard work. Thank you Anthony for my beautiful cover. You guys rock xx

  Finally, a big thank you, to you the readers, for your loyal support and your kind words of encouragement. This journey would mean nothing without you all….. Love always …..Bev xx

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 1

  Cole sat gripping a glass of his finest single malt in one hand, his phone in the other, staring blankly into the open fire. The hollow empty feeling in his chest felt like it was growing bigger and bigger. God he missed her so much. When he closed his eyes he could still remember every tiny detail of her. Her soft beautiful skin, her crystal clear blue eyes, her perfect smile, her glorious scent. He remembered it all and he longed to see her again. To taste her on his mouth, to hold her in his arms, to tell her he was sorry and how much he loved her.

  It was six days since he saw her. Six days since he broke her heart. And six days since his life fell apart.

  He thought back to Christmas night. When he arrived at her apartment. He already knew she was hurt, angry and mad as hell. She refused to take his calls since she told him to go to hell a few hours earlier. But when she opened the door and he saw her puffy pink eyes, filled with so much distain and heartbreak, he could barely breathe.

  But she listened to what he had to say. However her body language made it clear; she did not want him to touch her. He explained everything that had happened and she quietly sat and let him speak, as the tears freely trickled down her face and his heart broke because he had done this to her.

  He had done this to her because he was a coward. It was that simple. He promised her, he would never break her heart and that was exactly what he had just done. Even though he had known in his own heart that was exactly what he was going to do when he made her that promise. God he felt like such a complete bastard.

  When he finished talking, he nervously wrapped her in his arms and held her as she sobbed softly against his chest. And for the briefest of moments he believed everything would be ok.

  He was so wrong. When she sat up and looked him in the eye and told him to leave. He felt like he had been kicked in the guts.

  He begged and pleaded with her not to do this but she was just too angry to listen. And it killed him that he was the one who did this to her.

  His heart almost burst through his chest when she said looked him in the face as screamed “I hate you”. The three words were like a knife into his soul.

  He knew he was losing her, and his world was quickly falling apart around him. He pleaded with her but she was completely closed off now and he knew he had blown it.

  If there was any chance at all for him to make this right. Cole knew he needed to give her some space and a little time to calm down.

  So, with a heavy heart he stood up, wiped his face with the back of his hands and walked towards her, stopping in front of her.

  It took him everything he had to simply kiss her on the cheek and whisper that he loved her and that he would never stop. He stood for a moment and fought hard to stop himself from pulling her into his arms and pleading with her to give him one more chance.

  She just needs some time, he repeated to himself over and over again. But his words were not providing the comfort he had hoped they might be.

  I’m so sorry” he breathed against her cheek as he briefly allowed his fore head to rest against hers but that was the only contact he made with her body. Her smell filled his senses and his swallowed hard the sobbed that was almost choking him, fighting to get free.

  Then without saying another word he had to almost force his body to walk to the front door. Pulling it closed behind him, a shuddering sob escaped from deep inside him. But he pushed himself on towards the lift.

  When he finally stepped out into the night air he could barely catch his breath. He slumped against the front door of her apartment block and slid down to the ground. He buried his face in his hands and let go of all his grief. He had lost her.

  *************************************

  When he woke the next morning he instinctively reached out in search of Ally but found a cold empty spot instead. His eye snapped open and the memory of the past twenty four hours came crashing back into his mind. And his heart broke.

  He had to watch a woman he had absolutely no feelings for, bring his son into the world and all he could think about when he got to hold him for the first time was, he should be mine and Ally’s!

  How had he managed to fuck his life up so completely?

  “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!” he shouted at himself as he flung a pillow from the bed across the room in temper.

  Ally filled his mind. He could think of nothing else but her. Her things were still dotted around his bed room. Her dressing gown was still in the chair where she had left it. Her favourite Converse runners
where tucked neatly beneath the chair in the corner of the room. Her night creams and her hair ties were on the bedside table where she left them so she could use them at night before she went to sleep.

  Everything was now connected to her and her essence still filled this house. He had to see her. He had to talk to her and make her see that they belonged together.

  He threw the bed covers off and sprung out of bed. Giving himself just enough time to have a shower, he was dressed and in his car before he had time to think.

  When he reached Ally’s Apartment, he was relieved to see her car was parked outside. He reached the door and took a deep breath before he pressed the buzzer. There was no answer. He pressed again, this time holding it for longer. Still there was no answer. He pulled out his phone and pulled up Ally’s number.

  He was about to hit call when the front door of the building opened and a middle aged man stepped out through the door. Cole grabbed the door quickly, before it closed and headed straight for the stairwell and took the steps two at a time. When he reached Ally’s door he stood for a moment and took a deep calming breath before he softly knocked on the door.

  He listened for movement inside but there wasn’t a sound. He knocked once more but still there was no reply.

  “Ally, please,” he begged pressing his head against the door. “Please open the door and talk to me. I love you.”

  He listened for a sound but there was still none. Panic started to bubble up inside him. Why wasn’t she answering the door? What if Jason had come back? The sudden thought filled him with so much terror and he began banging on the door in panic.

  “Ally, open the door,” Cole tried but failed to hide the panic in his voice. “I just wanna see you are ok, Ally please, just let me see you are okay.”

  The door of the apartment across from Ally’s opened.

  “Dude, its 9 am. It’s Saint Stephen’s Day,” a half asleep and clearly hung over guy said to Cole looking at him like he had two heads. “What’s with all the banging? She isn’t even there.”

  “What do you mean ‘she isn’t even here’?” Cole said turning to the guy and giving him his full attention now. “Where is she?”

  “I called over last night to invite her over to the party I was having,” he explained, wiping the sleep out of his eye and sighed. “She was heading out the door with a suitcase. She asked me to give a note to her hot friend Caitlin if she called by.”

  “Can I see the note?” Cole asked knowing he had a 50/50 shot the guy might give it to him. Then added “I am heading over to Caitlin’s now.”

  The guy regarded Cole for a moment and sighed. Without a word he turned and disappeared back into his apartment. He returned moments later and handed Cole a small white envelope.

  Cole turned to walk away, gripping the note tightly in his hand when the guy called after him.

  “Hey you’re that guy from the news” he said and Cole stopped but didn’t turn around. “Who would have thought Ally had it in her to be a mistress to a billionaire. I’m impressed.”

  Cole turned around slowly and walked back to the guy and stopped in front of him as close as he could without touching him. He stared straight into him eyes.

  “I will give you that one, because you helped me out with the letter,” Cole said, his voice cold and threatening. “But if you ever talk about her like that again. I will break both of your fucking legs. Are we clear?”

  “Crystal,” the guy swallowed nervously. Without another word Cole turned and headed for the stairwell. Taking the steps two at a time he couldn’t reach his car fast enough.

  When he was finally in behind the wheel of the car, he lifted the envelope to his nose and inhaled. He could smell her perfume and his stomach knotted. He long to see her, to talk to her so badly it was killing him.

  He looked at the envelope for a few minutes debating. He knew he should just give it to Caitlin, after all, it had her name on it. But he needed to know what it said. Maybe it would say where she had gone to.

  Screw it! He thought and he peeled the envelope open and slipped the paper out from it. He slowly opened it and, taking a deep breath, began to read.

  “Hi Caitlin,

  Don’t freak out, I am ok. I just need some time to myself. I need to figure this out. I need time to try and piece my heart back together. I will be in touch but I don’t know when. Caits, I love him so much but he broke my heart. Not even my Dad hurt me this much. How will I ever get over this…?

  Ally x “

  Cole read the note again and again. Finally when he couldn’t bare to read her words any more, he started the engine and before he put it into reverse he called up Nathan’s number on his phone.

  “So you are ready to face the world dumbass?” Nathan boomed through the hands free speakers of the car when he picked up the phone. “Christ man, you fucked up this time.”

  “Cut the crap Nate,” Cole snapped at his friend. “I am in no mood. I need Caitlin’s number and address.”

  “I think that would be bad idea,” Nathan sighed down the phone. “She wants your balls on a platter.”

  “I really don’t care what Caitlin thinks,” Cole snapped. “Ally has gone, she left a note for Caitlin. I need to know where she could’ve gone.”

  Reluctantly Nathan gave Cole, Caitlin’s number and address and fifteen minutes later Cole was at Caitlin’s front door. When she opened it, she was clearly shocked to see Cole standing there.

  “Fuck off asshole” she barked at him before she tried to close the door in his face. Cole quickly caught the door with his hand and stopped her from closing it.

  “Caitlin please,” Cole begged. “Believe me there are worse names I have been calling myself. But this isn’t about me, it’s about Ally. Caitlin she has gone.”

  “What do you mean, she has gone?” Caitlin asked quickly pulling the door open wider.

  “Last night I went to her apartment, we talked and then she told me to leave,” Cole explained and the memories of the night before filled his mind and his heart ached with sadness. He paused for a moment to regain control of his composure. “I went around there this morning to try and talk to her, to try and make things right. But she was gone. Her neighbour said she left last night with a suitcase. He gave me this letter she left for you.”

  He handed Caitlin the letter, feeling reluctant to let go of the only connection he had to Ally.

  “You opened it?” she said as she looked from the letter to Cole in disbelief.

  “I’m sorry,” Cole blushed a little but wasn’t sorry he did. “But I needed to know where she was. I was hoping this would tell me.”

  Caitlin quickly read the note then looked up at Cole once again.

  “You really are a complete and utter asshole,” Caitlin snapped. “She trusted you and you have destroyed her. She will never get over this.”

  Cole hung his head in shame. He knew Caitlin was right. But he just wanted to talk to Ally. He needed to try and make her see just how much he loved her.

  Caitlin looked at Cole and despite herself, her heart broke for him. He was just a shell of the man she had first met. He looked like hell and she knew he was just as devastated as Ally was, where ever the hell she was.

  “I guess you should come in,” she said stepping back to let Cole into the house, surprising him by her actions. He stared at her for a moment unsure of what to say. “Well, we need to find our girl. We can’t do it standing on the door step.”

  “Thank you,” he whispered before he followed her inside her house.

  Caitlin rang everyone she could think of. Nan and Pop, Ally’s uncles, Gus, Sid and some other girls they still kept in touch with since school, but no one had heard from her. It was like she had just vanished.

  Hannah arrived at Caitlin’s in a complete state, half an hour after Caitlin rang her. When she saw Cole sitting in Caitlin’s kitchen Hannah tore into him and told him exactly what she thought of him. But then when she saw how broken he was, she surprised him by hugging
him.

  Nathan arrived a short while later to see if he could help. He rang a friend still in the police force and asked them to run a check on her credit cards. But when they were told she hadn’t used them in the past 48 hours, Cole, who had been pacing anxiously at that point, slumped down on to a chair and buried his face in his hands.

  “Where the hell is she?” he said when he finally looked back up pleadingly at the others. “Please tell me she is okay and she is gonna come back.”

  And that how the next five days went. Cole tried everything he could think of to find her. He rang Gus and Nan and Pop repeatedly but they hadn’t heard a thing and were all becoming very worried about Ally too. He barely slept or ate anything. Rosie, who was devastated to find out about Ally and Cole, was worried sick about Cole. At first she had been so angry with him and hurt he hadn’t told her about the baby either. She told him just how disappointed in him she was. But as the days past her disappointment turned into concern as she watched this confident, and sometimes overly cocky man crumble and break a little more, with each passing day.

  Cole also received several angry calls from Steph demanding he come to see the baby. Cole knew he was being a shitty father, but he couldn’t leave Dublin until he at least knew Ally was safe.

  So now six days since he’d last seen Ally, he sat staring into the fire, trying to find comfort in the bottom of a glass and prayed that today would be the day. It was New Year’s Eve and he couldn’t bear the thought of starting a new year without Ally.

  He had spent the day, once again searching for her. He started as he had every day at her apartment. Caitlin had given him her spare key.

  Ally’s apartment was cold and empty and like everywhere else, her warm and loving energy was so noticeably missing. He called at her grandparents’ house, Gus’s house and even called into Sid’s house once again. Then after he had driven around all the place’s Caitlin said she loved to go to when she needed time to think, he headed back to his house to wait once again for some news.